ASK A TITAN!
by real elmo
Summary: JUST LIKE ASK A NINJA, ONLY WITH TITANS. FREE TO ANY QUESTION YOU MAY HAVE. JUST LEAVE THEM IN THE COMMENTS. HUMOUR AND RESEARCH TOGETHER. eNJOY! pARODY OF ASK A NINJA! LOL
1. Cyborg 1

_**ASK A TITAN!**_

"_I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'TEEN TITANS' FRANCHISE. I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'ASK A NINJA' FRANCHISE. THIS IS SOLELY FAN WORK, AND HAS NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THE STORY/PLOT/PURPOSE OF THE ABOVE.'_

Author: Man, I hate doing that thing. So anyway, this is exactly how 'ask a ninja' works. I'm going to do some default questions and answers from the Titans. Feel completely free to ask any question you may have yourself for the Titans. If I like them, I'll do a reply to them with as much humour and serious knowledge I know about the titans. Enjoy!

Cyborg: Hey guys. I'm just here to answer some of your 'Q's about me. So ask away.

"Sarah14": Why are you a cyborg?

Cyborg: I was born this way. What do you think? Just kidding. Long story short, my mother opened a portal to another world, a demon came out, I tried to save her, got ripped to pieces, my father saved me by putting me into this.

"Therealagent47": Do you have a robo-dick?

Cyborg: 97 of my skin on my body was literally pulled off, including that area. My muscles and bones remained intact. Everything still works.

Cyborg leans in to whisper: Just between us, I've actually made myself a robo-dick. I call it P.E.N.I.S; Potent and Energized Neo-natural Intercourse System. Basically a robo-dick like you asked. It can vibrate, bend, extend, and it can even ejaculate anytime I want for as long as I want. I tell ya man, an hour long orgasm is amazing. You won't get bored. But of course, I like to let the girls have their fun first. I wonder where that Sarah14 girl went to.

"Yaoi-fan girl": Do you feel left out over the fact that no one ever writes any gay-romance fiction about you?

Cyborg: I've got no beef with gays. One of the guys on my football team was gay and I got on with him great. That was because I never looked at it like "this guy could like me". I just thought "we're friends". That's the same way guys look at girls who they're friends with. Why should it be any different? Same goes for this romance thing. I'm not offended. I mean Robin and BB aren't offended that they're in more gay romance fiction than they are in heterosexual ones. At least people write me into stories. I don't even care if I die, just so long as people took the time to write about me.

"Pon-and-Zi-man-girl": What's with you and Raven?

Cyborg: We're friends. She has great empathy for people. When we all first met, she seemed like a loner; a lot like me. We both lost our mothers because of demons. We're both seen as not human. We both had love and lost it. You may not notice, but I distance myself from the group as well; always fixing my car, leaving to lead Titans East. Robin and I are cool, Starfire's sweet, and BB can be a pain but is generally my best friend. Rae is the one who I know I can go to, no matter what. And I really hope she feels the same. I know what you're think and no; no romance for us. Opposites attract yeah, but I think well always be just friends. I think we both like it that way.

"Dude-man": Dude, what's with you and that dude, Robin? Dude, you've left twice before. Like, dude, why put up with that dude?

Cyborg: Well, dude, the second time I left was to lead a team myself, but I will give you that technically me and Robin did bump heads about that. I suppose it's because we were raised differently. I was always coached, to that point where I was telling myself "keep going, keep going". Robin trained with Batman; the legend himself. He was told orders and expected to obey them. Robin went solo just before we formed. He wanted to make rules for himself. I didn't even want anything to do with other people. When we formed I suppose he thought "ok, rookie. I'll whip them into shape.". But hey, he's a good guy, and he's a friend. He really is the backbone of this team (but I'm the muscle).

"Black-parade-ring-master": Ever thought about going back to high school under Victor Stone using that cool holographic ring of yours.

Cyborg: Get's up and leaves Jesus! Why didn't I think of that before!?!


	2. Raven 1

_**ASK A TITAN!**_

"_I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'TEEN TITANS' FRANCHISE. I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'ASK A NINJA' FRANCHISE. THIS IS SOLELY FAN WORK, AND HAS NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THE STORY/PLOT/PURPOSE OF THE ABOVE.'_

Raven: monotone Hey.

"Perky187": Why don't you cheer the fuck up bitch?

Raven: Ok then. I'll totally forget the fact that I'm a rape child of a demon lord who forcefully fucked my mother while she cried and scream for him to stop as she bled. I'll totally forget the fact that my existence was solely to end the world. I'll totally forget the fake that the only guy that was nice to me was using me to free him. I'll totally forget the fact that people see me as a freak; an ugly paradox; a stain on life. Oh, and I will definitely forget the fact that when I was asleep, some asshole thought it be funny to shove a gems into my forehead. I feel so much better now!

That was the authors joke. Not real.

"ME12": How do you guys get paid?

Raven: Original, when we formed, the city treated us like robots. We weren't allowed to do anything recreational, we had to train all the time, and we were fed stuff like "HIGH PROTEIN HYPER TURBO WAFFLES". Eventually we demanded that we be allowed our own stuff. So instead of them making a list of what we wanted, they decided to let us shop for it ourselves. So the 'Titan credit' system was sent up. You know the way you have credit in phones. We had them in our communicators. It's like a point system. Every time we bring down a bad guy, we get points, depending on how much the guy was worth. The more stuff he destroys, the more we get. That's why we always struggle at the beginning, and the finish with a bang. Thankfully there's no such thing as deduction points for us. The points are really generous. Each one point is like the smallest form of currency in whatever country we are in at the time. So we could be loaded one moment, and flat broke the next. Takes out communicator I've got like…calculating 20000 dollars in mine. notices shock on your face I rarely buy anything. The last time I bought something was a book in London for only a couple of points. We were chancing Mad Mod. mutters crazy bastard.

"Myspace-whore": Do you really love waffles more than life itself?

Raven: Waffles are the only thing in my bleak darkness surrounding life that I enjoy…apart from my friends.

"Dizzy-rascle-50-cent-home-boy": Can you tell us about yourself without mentioning the bad stuff?

Raven: That's a very considerate question from someone with an oddly long name. Well, my full name is Raven Roth. My favourite colour is blue. I know you may have heard 'Happy' say it's pink, but she's a dirty, lying, filthy whore who says nothing but lies, dirty, filthy lies covered in shit with a peanut-butter filling pauses for a second that sounds a little bit lovely actually. Anyway, I cut my own hair. To be honest, I like it long, but I think I look better with it short. I do get flattered about all this fan fiction stuff about me and all the deviant art stuff. Once, I saw one of me naked. I was a little sickened, but slightly amused.

"RobxRae56": R u + u Robbie-pooh eva gonna get 2geter????

Raven: My, aren't we very literate today. Robin is a friend, that's it. Yes, he was a huge help with the whole Trigon thing, and I will never forget that, ever, but bottom line, just friends. I admit, he's cute, and I have thought how nice it would be to be in a relationship with him, but he's a friend. Nothing further.

"Pimpforlife2": Are you goth or emo?

Raven: I'm Raven.

"Pimpforlife2": Answer me, biatch.

Raven: That's not a question.

"Pimpforlife2": Are you a goth or and emo? Either way, I wouldn't fuck you.

Raven: Sarcastic Oh no. My life is ruined. A white poser won't have sex with me with his tiny pale dick. No. What shall I do? Oh no.

"Lisa-horny-Simpson": You need to talk to cast spells. If you couldn't, what would you do?

Raven: These profile names just get stranger. Well, thankfully we've all taken time to train similarly. I'm ok at hand to hand combat. I probably specialize more on blocks, kicks, and generally avoid attacks; back flips, rolls, side steps. I can still fly without casting spells.

"Candycanesugar": If you could have anyone, who would it be?

Raven: Long pause……….Jude Law.


	3. Robin 1

_**ASK A TITAN!**_

"_I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'TEEN TITANS' FRANCHISE. I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'ASK A NINJA' FRANCHISE. THIS IS SOLELY FAN WORK, AND HAS NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THE STORY/PLOT/PURPOSE OF THE ABOVE.'_

Author: Man, I hate doing that thing. So anyway, this is exactly how 'ask a ninja' works. I'm going to do some default questions and answers from the Titans. Feel completely free to ask any question you may have yourself for the Titans. If I like them, I'll do a reply to them with as much humour and serious knowledge I know about the titans. Enjoy!

Robin: Hi. It's me Robin. I'm here to answer your queries that you have about me or the other titans. Let's start off with this on.

"Player123": I have a couple of Qs for you; sorry. Why did you leave the Batman? Why did you join the Titans after wanting to go solo? Ever thought being the leader was too much for someone who just wanted a solo career?

Robin: Wow! Those are tough ones. Okay, Bruce took me in when my parents were killed. I will always thank him for that, and never forget him for as long as I lived. But most importantly he showed me a world I never thought would cross my way. He gave me a code. There are actually rules I follow even today when dealing with situation like a hostage or zombies killing bad guys. He called it the 'Kartaq Code', something he learned from monks when he traveled the world training. It literally something that gives you the skills to deal with dual identities, emotional control, spiritual focus, and even the key to justification by result. He gave me the chance to make sure that people didn't have to go through what I did. But I won't lie; I hated being a sidekick. I had to listen to the commissioner saying "well done Batman! Thanks to you, the streets are clear of trouble" whenever I worked my ass off. And then I come back to Alfred saying "Good show Master Bruce. Your parents would be proud of you".

(Sigh)

I will always love Bruce. As a mentor, as the Batman, and as a father. But I need to stretch my own wings. The point of me learning and him teaching was that I could do what he does, only by myself… when he's gone. I needed my own legacy. I can't make the world a safer place in the shadow of the Batman. You have to understand. I don't hate the Batman…I hate the world he showed me that he didn't want me to have…without him at least.

(Sigh)

So, I leave. Do my own thing. I hear about a bad part Jump city. I go there for a while and then it all kicks off. I suppose I don't need to remind you of the story. But to answer your question, something about 5 unique strangers fighting to save everyone brings them together. We had our flaws (still do). Cy was still dealing with being a cyborg, losing his future as an athlete. Raven was only starting to show compassion for others, keeping a monster deep inside her. BB was just a kid, looking for orders. And then there's Star. The moment I met them I thought "Oh shit! What have I gotten myself into?". But we had to save the city. When you work as a team, you forget everything.

And yeah, it's tough. It's not like I said "I'm leader!". If you remember, BB kept calling me 'sir'. Everyone apart from me, you have to understand, is actually new to the whole hero thing.

Right, let's have another Q.

"MCRwhore10": You have no powers. If you did, what ones would they be (you can only pick the powers that the other titans have).

Robin: Thanks for reminding me I have no powers. Just kidding. Um? Let me think. Well I suppose Beast Boys powers. He's actually come the closest out of all of us to killing Slade. Remember, he thought he saw Terra and Slade taunted him but it turned out to be a robot. That and plus to be fair Beast Boy's rather immature for his powers. He's not very creative. He actually only know a few animals. The largest he knows are a T-Rex, a whale, and an elephant. To be fair turn into anything and just grow or shrink. When we were on Star's home planet, he turned into one of those big…things. I swear, sometimes I think he turned into objects and doesn't tell us he can do that. There's a green towel that keeps appearing every now and again, and BB is coincidentally nowhere in sight. It normally happens when Raven or Starfire take a shower. Lucky bastard.

"Worldofwarcraftgod343": Who's the gay Titans in the show?

Robin: Speedy.

"Ask-a-ninja09": What's with the tights dude?

Robin: Dead honest, they're comfy, they don't get caught in anything, they keep you warm in winter and cool in summer, and as a added plus, they make the package look massive.


	4. Beast Boy 1

_**ASK A TITAN!**_

"_I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'TEEN TITANS' FRANCHISE. I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'ASK A NINJA' FRANCHISE. THIS IS SOLELY FAN WORK, AND HAS NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THE STORY/PLOT/PURPOSE OF THE ABOVE.'_

Author: Man, I hate doing that thing. So anyway, this is exactly how 'ask a ninja' works. I'm going to do some default questions and answers from the Titans. Feel completely free to ask any question you may have yourself for the Titans. If I like them, I'll do a reply to them with as much humour and serious knowledge I know about the titans. Enjoy!

Beast Boy: Hey you crazy titan fans. It's the Beast Man here to answer your questions. Let's see what we got.

"Crimsonshrouds": Can you turn into objects not just animals?

Beast Boy: Don't tell the other's this, but after our fight with Mumbo Jumbo, when he turned me into a lamp, I can turn into anything now. I keep it a secret. Think about it. Raven and Star drying themselves after a shower with a green towel. Sweet! Not sweet however when Robin gets all sweaty from training and uses me…or whenever Cy's got an oil leak in his car that need some attention.

"Crimsonshrouds": Can you turn in to a green Garfield the cat since his name is the  
same as yours?

Beast Boy: First, thanks for knowing my name. Second

(Beast Boy turns into Garfield).

Not as entertaining as you thought, huh?

"Crimsonshrouds": Can you change your color and if you could what would it be?

Beast Boy: Sadly, no. It's not that bad, you know. Why would I want to be anything but green? The batch of chemicals that gave me my powers were green so I guess you get what you give. But if I could choose…pink.


	5. Starfire 1

_**ASK A TITAN!**_

"_I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'TEEN TITANS' FRANCHISE. I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'ASK A NINJA' FRANCHISE. THIS IS SOLELY FAN WORK, AND HAS NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THE STORY/PLOT/PURPOSE OF THE ABOVE.'_

Author: Man, I hate doing that thing. So anyway, this is exactly how 'ask a ninja' works. I'm going to do some default questions and answers from the Titans. Feel completely free to ask any question you may have yourself for the Titans. If I like them, I'll do a reply to them with as much humour and serious knowledge I know about the titans. Enjoy!

Starfire: Hello new friends! I am filled with joy to see that you wish to ask me questions about myself and my fellow Titans. I promise to answer truthfully and correctly.

"Crimsonshrouds": How can you create starbolts and do you only shoot them out of your  
hands and eyes?

Starfire: As I have explained to Friend Raven, I feel righteous fury when I use my starbolts. The science behind this power consists of biological, chemical, and physical knowledge that takes two years of constant studying to comprehend. So I believe it would be easier for you just accept that, how Beast Boy says, "it just happens". Yes, I can only shoot from my hands and eyes. I am aware that to your human "toilet humor" it may be deemed funny if I were to shoot out of my anus.

"Crimsonshrouds": How do you feel about fics with you paired with raven and robin  
paired with raven?

Starfire: (Giggle) I find it most amusing. Upon being on this planet I have been made aware of, how you say, 'homosexuals', who are people that have relationships with members of the same gender. I very much enjoy the pretty pink parades they have. I am flattered that people consider myself and Raven a homosexual couple, but we are just very, very good friends. As for the Robin/Raven 'fics', I must admit I was slightly jealous that so many people indulge in the notion that Robin and Raven have a secret relationship.

Author: No one ever said it was a secret.

Starfire: But I do not know of any relationship.

Author: And that's because...

(Starfire leaves. Screaming and shouting is heard from a far. A loud starbolt shot is heard).

Starfire: (Shock) What do you know? I really can shoots starbolts out of my anus.


	6. Cyborg 2 Raven 2

_**ASK A TITAN!**_

"_I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'TEEN TITANS' FRANCHISE. I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'ASK A NINJA' FRANCHISE. THIS IS SOLELY FAN WORK, AND HAS NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THE STORY/PLOT/PURPOSE OF THE ABOVE.'_

Author: Man, I hate doing that thing. So anyway, this is exactly how 'ask a ninja' works. I'm going to do some default questions and answers from the Titans. Feel completely free to ask any question you may have yourself for the Titans. If I like them, I'll do a reply to them with as much humour and serious knowledge I know about the titans. Enjoy!

Cyborg: Hey guys, it's me Cyborg.

Raven: (Monotone) And me, Raven.

Cyborg: This fan called Crimsonshrouds has asked us some good questions and we thought we'll just save time and answer them together. Ready Raven?

Raven: (Mono) I can't control my excitement. Look at me, I'm more hyped then a five year old child drinking cocaine filled caffeine. (Still monotone) Ask the mother-fucking questions already before I lose it.

Cyborg: Easy tiger. First for you; "how do you feel about fics where they pair you up with Jinx (those are some of my favorites P) and what about Red X?".

Raven: They're just fics. We should I feel anything for random literature. I appreciate the fact that people take time to write a story about me, but I don't really give much to what random romance I'm in. Jinx is now one of us, and as a fellow Titan I support her fully, but just because a little guy somewhere thought it'd be funny to put me and her in some sort of weird lesbian-strap-on-orgy fight, doesn't mean it's true. As for Red X, again, it's fiction. Red X is a criminal and I don't intend on developing any feelings for someone who doesn't care about others.

Cyborg: Don't mind her, she just doesn't like anything unless it was written by some little noir goth. Ok, next Q. "Has an emotion ever left your mirror. Maybe happy or bravery?".

Raven: No.

Cyborg: Can you go deeper than just one word answers?

Raven: No.

Cyborg: Ok. "What's your opinion of Doctor light?".

Raven: What we know about Doctor Light is that he's had several childhood episodes involving an amazingly disturbed fear of the dark. Since then, he's ironically used his knowledge of generating light energy for evil. We've found that he can generate enough energy with his technology to light every home in the world, power at least twenty large event buildings in every country on Earth, and even, if condensed to a car battery size, could completely replace carbon emitting cars and stop the O-zone layer from being depleted any further. But my personal opinion on him is that he's an attention seeking mother's boy who lacks in confidence with similar traits to school yard bullies.

Cybrog: Very colourful, as usual Raven. And last "You said other people had weird names what do you think of mine?"

Raven: The name's "Crimsonshrouds", right?

Cyborg: Yeah.

Raven: Cool enough. At least it doesn't have numbers after it. I don't understand why people get so stubborn over a name, that they just add numbers after it so they can have it. Be creative. If the name you want is, tough. If you wanted to be called "MCRfangirl" but someone took it, why not take "MCRfangirlforlife" or "MCRfangirlofdarkness".

Cyborg: Little rant there Rae.

Raven: Should I do yours?

Cyborg: Yeah, go. These are from the same person as well?

Raven: Yeah. "Since you built the tower did you put cameras anywhere specific?"

Cyborg: I know what you're trying to ask. There are cameras everywhere, but that's for safety. Besides, I think we all have like an unwritten, unspoken law that no one looks at the footage from the camera from the bathroom, right Raven?

Raven: (Shifty eyes (quickly)). Next question! "What's the biggest thing you've ever eaten?" (Smile).

Cyborg: Funny Raven, funny. Um, let me think. Oh! There was that weird giant ball of goo Starfire made once. I think that was the only thing she ever made that didn't make me violently sick. Although it did taste like snots.

Raven: Eh?...Cyborg?

Cyborg: Yeah?

Raven:…..Nevermind. Next one says "Your thoughts on Jinx Bee and sarasim?"…you don't have to answer that if you don't want to.

Cyborg: Nah! It's ok. Might as well. Well, I had a crush on Jinx. I'm glad she's one of us now, and I'm glad this partnering up with Kid Flash, so no love no lost. Bumble Bee is a little hot head. Way too much like me (laugh). But nah, not for me. Sarasim…well, she'll always be with me, forever, but I've got to move on.

Raven: You ok Cy?

Cyborg: (Silent pause)…Is that another question from Crimsonshrouds? (Laugh).


	7. Gizmo 1

ASK A TITAN

_**ASK A TITAN!**_

"_I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'TEEN TITANS' FRANCHISE. I HAVE NO OWNERSHIP OVER THE 'ASK A NINJA' FRANCHISE. THIS IS SOLELY FAN WORK, AND HAS NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THE STORY/PLOT/PURPOSE OF THE ABOVE.'_

Gizmo: Hey snot-brains, it's Gizmo. And I want in on this whole ask a titan crud.

'Reviwer89': When you were forced to help take the virus out of Cyborg, Raven showed you some sort of ugly monster. What was it?

Gizmo: Her vagina!

'Animefangirl3': Are you naturally smart or is your super intelligence an effect of a chemical accident or some kind of radiation or something like most superheroes and villains?

Gizmo: WHAT?!

'Writerdarkhero': How do you feel about Jinx becoming a Titan?

Gizmo: I was pissed when me and Mammoth found out, but we've cooled off. She's dead to us. YOU HEAR ME JINX?! DEAD! D-E-D, DEAD! We haven't run into her yet, and I don't care if she even just joined the Titans just so she could take them down from the inside, she's dead to us.

'Hot-to-trot432': You must fancy one of the Titans.

Gizmo: No, they're all pee brain plastic dolls. That orange alien, total whore! The queen of emos and hardcore pussy goths, Raven, complete psycho and ultra dyke! Bee-bitch has no sense of style with hair! She looks like she had conjoined twins on her head that grew afros before dying! The rest aren't even worth mentioning. And before anyone asks, no, I don't fancy any of the dork guys. I'm not like Speedy!


	8. Everyone

All of these are from "sco23"

All of these are from "sco23"

(Slade)Why do you call yourself Slade when your real villian name is  
Deathstroke the Terminator.

Slade: My name's Slade Wilson.

(Robin) Do you have a obsessive personality disorder.

Robin: Are you serious?

(Raven) Are you ticklish?

Raven: Are you serious?

(Starfire) What would you do if Robin dump you for Blackfire?

Starfire: Why? Has he said something?

(Cyborg) Would you do anything to be human again?

Cyborg: I'd suck off Beast boy.

(Beastboy) Do you love Terra or Raven?

BB: Are you serious?

(Terra) Are you Ticklish?

Terra: Totally, I get giggles so easily.

(Jinx) Do you like Kid Flash or Cyborg?

Jinx: Are you serious?

(Red X) Will you ever be a good guy?

Red X: Are you serious?

(Kitten) Will you ever stop being a ?

Kitten: You're just jealous.

(Bumblebee) What's it like being the only girl on the team?

Bumblebee: It's no big deal. Sure, I sometimes get desperate for a little girl time, but the guys aren't that bad. Speedy's gay anyway, so I can talk to him about some stuff.

(Aqualad and Speedy) Are you gay like the other fanfictions say?

Speedy: I am so not gay.

Robin: Oh shut up! You're the biggest nancy in the world.

Slade: You're so gay, you invented San Fransico.

Cyborg: There's nothing wrong with gay guys. But you're so gay, gay guys hate you.

(Mas and Menos) Will you ever take english classes?

Mas y menos: Que?

(Blackfire) What do you look for in a guy or girl?

Blackfire: I look for the adventurist type. I like bad boys. But if they get in my way, they're toast.


	9. Raven3, Beast Boy2, Robin2

All of these are from "sco23"

Author: Sorry for the wait, busy, lol.

These are from "ThinkFast75"

(To Raven): Are you offended by the large amount of semi-clothed or nude art people do of you? What about the more graphic art?

Raven: Being fanatic about something is just human. People see something they like, they want it. If they can't have it, they'll show their appreciation for it, hopelessly thinking that's the way to get it. Personally, I don't really Google or Youtube myself for that kind of stuff. That's more Beast Boy. As for the idea that someone out there is jacking off to these pictures, I don't care. As long as they keep their obsession healthy and don't try to attack me. I do however applaud some of these artworks for their beauty and creativity. But in all, I don't really think about it to be honest.

(To Beastboy): Have you thought about turning into animals with stingers or fangs  
to just knock the villains out?

Beastboy: Dude, totally. But Robin is a spoilsport. He made us do a 'Titan manifesto'. One of these things was 'We shall not commit murder (neither a direct nor indirect form) to prevent a crime'. So the 'indirect' way includes the possibility that the villians could be allergic to stings and bites. Can you believe that?

(To Any\all): Titans tower has some 4 to 6 floors that are never seen in the show.  
Kindly explain the possible use of so many empty floors or tells use what is  
really there.

Robin: I'll answer this one. Ok, so there are five upper layers to the Titan Tower. The first 'floor' is basically the entrance, which basically just leads to the elevator and the garage, where Cyborg preps the automobiles. The second floor is the training room. The reason it was there was so it was easy to get to and from in case of an emergency situation just outside the Tower. The third floor is the generator room, which powers the tower. It's located in the middle of the 'T' for efficiency. The forth floor is the medical ward. Were all qualified for observation treatment but nothing like surgery. And of course the top floor is for recreational purposes, with a stairway to the helipad on the roof. The part of the tower that isn't obvious is the underground floor for the backup generator and submersion docking bay.


	10. Starfire 2, Cybrog 3

ASK A TITAN

ASK A TITAN

These are from Falcon the winged sage

To Cyborg:

Couldn't you build an awesome assault vehicle for the titans like a  
tank or a jet?

Cybrog:

Eh…what do you call the T car, or even the T sub (which doubles as a space craft)! But yeah, I suppose the idea has crossed my mind. But I prefer to work with ergonomics, you know, like make separate jet packs for each of us, rather than one big single jet. That's why the T sub can split, especially in space.

To Cyborg:

What ever happened to brother blood?

Cyborg: (Shrug shoulders)

To Cyborg:

What's the most annoying thing Beastboy's ever done to you?

Cyborg:

Once, he actually played this unbelievable cruel joke on me. I mean like, it was to the point where I seriously cried and wanted to leave and never talk to him again. For everyone's benefit, I will not talk about it simply because it really will get me fired back up. But I will say this: it involved my mom, a puppet, and him turning into a dog.

To Starfire:

Do you have any other siblings besides blackfire?

Starfire:

No. My parents only had my sister Blackfire and myself. Even though she is twisted and evil, I still do love my sister to the utmost brim of briminess. My parents died when I was only a clovfnorg (Tamerainian word, loosely means baby of some sort (exact meaning may be lost in translation (the word root 'clo' relates to royalty))).

To Starfire:

How are things with Robin?

Starfire:

Since our encounter in Japan, where we began the boyfriend and girlfriend couple, we have had quite fun 'hanging out', like enjoying movies and doing couple projects. In my language, there is actually no word for this amount of joy. Robin says similarly in regards to his our feelings and his own language. In respect of this feeling, I shall dub it 'the appropriate silence'.

To Starfire:

So um...Besides the powers and stomachs, is there any other ways  
tamerainian biology differs from a humans?

Starfire:

I too, like most people, am fascinated by the similarities between humans and Tamerainians. There isn't that much difference between our powers and stomachs, since Tamerainians' powers come from their emotions, and in the most emotional moments, human beings may do the most incredible things, the same way we Tamerainians have unique appetites, you humans seem quite attached to these "Macs of largeness" (She means Big Macs) or how pregnant females wish for pickles. We seem to be similar to the point where interspecies relationships could be permissible.

Robin once discussed with me the theory of a man known as Charles Darwin. His theory was that all animals evolved from a single organism millions of years ago. If that is so, perhaps ALL LIFE, even alien life, evolved from the same single cell organism.

(Author note: Don't send me comments bitching about the whole creation/evolution thing. Do that stuff on the Da Vince Code fan fiction).


	11. Raven 4

ASK A TITAN

:::Quick author note:::

"Hey. I'm like the little author guy, real elmo. Listen, this AAT thing is going really well. But can I just say, don't be afraid to ask as many Qs as you want. I'm a bit of a cartoon/comic book nerd so these answers I give are either pretty accurate (based on the comic books) or just fun (you know). My point is I like only have 2 Qs for this one, so please, don't be afraid to ask whatever. Even if it's stupid. Another thing, even though this hasn't happen yet, please don't ask questions already answered, unless they are implied to a different character from the last times. Ok…thanks (smiley face!!!)"

Altelier: My first question is, If you had the chance to come to my world would you do  
it? If yes, what would you do?

Raven: There's as much possibility of me coming to your world as there is of me going to any of the other countless worlds out there. I'm sure your world is nice, but…why your world. I not trying to be rude, it's just if I can go to any world, why start with yours. If we have to chase some bad guy or something, than maybe, or if we're suck in by some evil little black whole thing, than that time too. Don't take it the wrong way and all; but to be honest, it's too much effort for something that may not even go well.

Altelier: My second question relates to my first one. If you came to this world(which  
would be AWESOME!) would you wanna hang out?

Raven:………meh, I guess.


	12. Everyone 2

ASK A TITAN

::::Author note:::: Man, Cross and Gabriel were annoying!!!!!!!:::::::

"Gabriel":  
()to Raven: what would happen if you had sex? In some fics, the tower exploded  
when that happened.

Raven: I'll figure it out when the time comes.

()to everyone: If Cross- (my friend Cross here)…….

Cross: 'waves'

….came to your world and started killing people, do you think you  
could stop him? cause I highly doubt it. Since he's more powerful than Raven  
and has more control. His powers are shadow manipulation and teleporation, and  
the power to control hellfire (power is something all devils have). If you  
want to see his picture, just look at my account, it's the avatar image.

Robin: Well, if he commits a crime, it is our duty to do everything we have to stop him.

"Zen-taro":  
() To Robin: In your opinion, who do you think is the most powerful of the Titans?

Robin: That's hard. I think we're lucky in the sense we each make up for each other's downpoints, but we can survive without each other. What I lack in that the others have, I may make up in something that the others don't have. If I had to guess, I'd say Raven. I think she's a lot stronger than she leads on.

()To Starfire: Ever done drugs?

Starfire: On Tameran we have these gem like rocks called 'Spoifol', which means 'Unrealiable'. We call it that because those the eat them often become…as you say…"The heads of pots" [She means 'potheads']. No, I have never touched upon these Spoifols nor any other intoxicating narcotics of any planets…though your mustard is quite addictive.

() To Beast boy: Can you turn into Godzilla?

Bb: ….Dude…that is an AWESOME IDEA!

()To Raven: Is Trigon's dad a demon god?

Raven: I really don't know, and I really don't care. The less he's in my life, the better.

()To Cyborg: Do you like techno or hip hop/rap?

Cyborg: Hip hop, especially "The last poets". They don't get enough credit for what they did.

() To Jinx: What's the biggest thing you've stolen?

Jinx: In size…a 10 ton golden global. We just hitched in on top of Mammoth

() To Blackfire: Ever start a inter planetery war?

Blackfire: Baby, I AM an inter planetary war. I mean, I'm in exile!

()To Argent: Anyone ever tell you, you look like Tira from Soul Calibur ¾

Argent: Sorry love, don't really play video games that much.

"Cross":  
()to RedX: Who are you? Some think you're Jason Todd, the second Robin who  
turned evil and beat up BOTH Batman and the third Robin and hinted he'll turn  
the first Robin's (Robin of the Teen Titans) life into a living hell. Others  
think you're Grant Wilson aka the first Ravager. Or a devil, or a bored  
archangel, or whatever! Also, which one of the girls would want to have sex  
with?

RedX: Now what kind of masked man would I be if I told you that. And to answer your other question, why choose only one?

()to Raven: How the HELL, did Trigon rape your mother if he was trapped  
somehwere?

Raven: He wasn't trapped at that point. My mother was once a Satanist. She and some others tried to summon Trigon. I don't want to talk about the rest.

()to Speedy: Not a question. I just wanna say i hate you with all my heart and  
I will skin you alive and spear your corpse to the empire state building if  
you ever try hitting on RedX. (I think you're gay remember?)

Speedy: OH NOW COME ON!!!! AUTHOR GUY, THAT WASN'T EVEN A QUESTION!!!! WHY PUBLISH THAT!!! That's so unfair!!!

() to Kitten: I know you want Robin in bed with you, so I'm giving you a deal.  
I'll capture Robin if you get RedX's belt back for him. Go you, Red X! 

Kitten: Daddy! I have a job for you!

()to Kid Flash: How fast does sex with jinx last?

Kid Flash: Who said anything about having sex!

()to Cyborg: I absolutely got grossed out with the robo dick thing. We also  
know that you just got caught in a car accident and your mother didn't  
survive. You're father Silas Stone was the one who gave you robotic parts.  
MUAHAHAHAHA! I am so intellegent!

:::::::AUTHOR NOTE::::::: "Ok, I'm answering the serious questions with reverence to my comic book knowledge. Often characters will have their background readjusted every now and again (FOR CHRIST SAKE, THE JOKER HAS LIKE A HUNDRED). I never about that car accident. The background I'm going with is the one where Cyborg's mother was like a star-gate scientist, and she accidentally open a gateway to like hell or something. A demon came out and Cyborg tried to protect his mam, but she got killed and he was ripped up. In this one, his father did indeed build him the Cyborg suit."::::::::::

Lelila

()To Robin: Do the other Titans know your secret identity? How did they find out?  
Do you wear your mask around the tower a lot?

Robin: We're all a little older and a little bolder. I think we all sort of just talk about ourselves over time. I mean, yeah they know I'm Dick Greyson. It was just sort of in the conversation. I still where the mask for Bruce. Think about it; people find out Dick Greyson, Brice Wayne's adopted son, was one of the Robins, they'll figure out Bruce is Batman. That and plus you never know when Slade's watching. I normally take it off once in a while.

()To Starfire: Do you fly in your sleep? Do you um...have the same type of  
reproductive cycle a human has? In other words, do you need feminine hygiene  
products every month?

Starfire: Yes, I can…normally it only happens in a really sweet romantic dream. We call this "Tu" ["Cheer moment of unbound happiness and untainted joy"]. As for the reproductive question, I've already answered that.

()To Raven: What would happen if you had sex? Would the building blow up? Or can  
you control that now?

Raven: Already answered.

()To Beast Boy: I understand the vegetarian thing in your human form, but when  
you're changed into a carnivore, like a lion or something, do you crave meat?  
Do you eat when your morphed?

Beast Boy: When I change, it's still me. I change into the shape of the animal, not the actual animal itself. My body rearranges its DNA, not its psychology.

()To Cyborg: Can you control your temperature? Do you ever get cold? Or hot?  
Can you go swimming, or do you short out?

Cyborg: To a small degree, yes. Yes, I do feel hot or cold. And yes, I can swim. I'm entirely water-proof.

Zen-taro

()Hey got a question for Raven, if Nightmare from Soul Calibur came to your  
world at full strength, do you think the Teen Titans could beat him?

Raven: (Calls BeastBoy….Shows question…..listens to Beast Boy's response)…No…apparently.


	13. Everyone 3

Disclaimer: don't own anything.

ASK A TITAN.

Altelier askes:

To Beast-Boy: Like me, and every other teenage guy on the  
planet(in my universe atleast), you seem to be a bit of a pervert. If not,  
answer the question anyways. Back to my question: What is your favorite part  
of the female body? You know, that part your eyes get drawn to everytime you  
see an attractive girl.

Beast Boy: Well dude, I enjoy the finer things in life. I'm not a one track guy.

(Terra walks pass). I actually can control myself and… (Terra bends over into the fridge).

…Nevermind.

To Argent: According to the answer Raven gave to my last  
questions, you might not know the answer to this question, but it's a simple  
question. If your England is the same as this one, what part of England are  
you from?

Argent: Manchester.

To Robin: I always wondered this, How does your mask move with  
your eyes? Is it like...Glued to your face? Or did you like lose your eyes and  
get a really bad plastic surgery job? Just wondering.

Robin: Well, the mask is made out of flexible alloys. It's designed so that body heat causes it to secret a thin, hardly noticible gel that sorts of cements itself to my skin. It then cols down and becomes in sync with my body heat, so it still sticks when I get sweaty or cold or wet. To get it off, I just have to hold the pointy corners at the ends, bend it in a way to allow air in, and the gel sort of retracts.

To Kid Flash. Are you a younger version of The Flash? Or are you  
related to him? If it's neither, how did you come in contact with the "Speed  
Force"?

AUTHOR: My understanding is that Kid Flash is Bart, neither the original Flash nor the Wally West one.

To Cyborg: I got one for ya. What is your vision like? Is it like...half red?  
Just wondering...again

Cyborg: Well, I can see perfectly fine. Everything just colours. I can even see in night vision, and in infrared….but not ultraviolet. Anything coated in ultraviolet light I cant see. Bit of a bummer, but it came in handy when we were taking down Brother Blood and his knock-offs of me.


	14. THE MEGA ONE! RELEASE THE MONKEY!

ASK A TITAN

THE MEGA ONE!!!!!

Author: Sorry for the wait, but here's too many question to shake a stick at!!! What…ever….that means…

From Zen-Taro

To Robin: If you became a vampire what would you do?

Robin: Drink blood…I guess.

To Starfire: If you had powers like mine (powers to create anything) what would

you do with them?

Starfire: I would first create the bunnies upon which image they could fly when in love, then I'd sugar coat the stars so that when they sparkle, they sprinkle some sugar flakes onto the Earth, and then….

(Author: LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! HAPPY NOW?!)

To Beast boy: Ever thought of turning into a myth beast?

Beast Boy: …I'll give it a try, I guess.

To Cyborg: I have powers of creation, what would you do to be normal again?

Cyborg: Well, first. I'd make these little bunnies that can fly.

To Raven: Apparently your grandpa (Trigon's side) is the first demon, the

ultimate evil, where all evil comes from... Chaos (better watch out... he's

worst than Trigon)

Raven: …Do, you have a question or…

To Blackfire: Same as Starfire's question

Blackfire: Something with cute little bunnies that can fly and rape people, I dunno.

To Kole: I am the crystal of life, and I am your father

Kole: Eh, no?

To Trigon: You do know your dad is Chaos

Trigon: …Really?

To Gizmo: If you could have anything right now, what would it be?

Gizmo: Your mom sucking my own hung Mammoth.

To Everyone: You all do know I am the creator of your universe?

Beast Boy: Forget that dude, I defy you and your universe inventing claims!!!!

Mas y Menos: Es loco, no?

Bumble Bee: Hmm, sounds to me, like someone's had too much cartoon addiction for one day.

To Everyone: I have the power to turn you into gods, what would you do for that  
power?

Everyone drops on their knees and open their mouths.

FROM CROSS AND GABRIEL

to Argent: Are you human, or demonic?

Argent: Human luv.

to Killer Moth: How do you deal with your daughter?

Killer Moth: Amazingly, if I give her anything she wants, she behaves. Easy as that….as you can tell, her mother was the butch one in the relationship.

to everyone: Did you know that RedX DID have an original comic about him? It  
lasted only 4 issues because he was too powerful, heck, Impulse died there and  
Speedy was crippled for life. His suit had tubes a bit like Bane's that had  
liquid with different colors go through them. Each color had its own power.  
Silver meant super-speed while black enabled him to use shadow. He had 11 in  
all you know. And he was FAR better than Robin in martial arts. Hell, he's  
probably better than Batman or the True Master.

Red X: Good times, good times.

Red X: If you had the ORIGINAL RedX's suit, what would you do with it? Would  
you go evil villain and take over the world or stick to stealing even with all  
that power?  
(the original RedX could take on every Titan and come out victorious with a  
few dead)

Red X: I aint a bad guy, just taking what I want. Not interested it all this world domination stuff. I just believe in doing stuff for the heck of it. So if I had my old powers, nothing would change.

to Speedy: How many people have stayed away from you because of your  
gayness?

Speedy: I'M NOT GAY!

to Tara (Terra from the school): Is Nick your boyfriend?

Terra: (blush)

to Angel: Do you REALLY like Kyd Wykkyd?

(WHO THE FUCK IS ANGEL)

to Raven: if RedX gave you a deal to go freely and give himself up to the law  
if you had sex with him, would you agree?

Raven: First, I respect myself and my body too much; second, that an unfair deal since he'd get more out of it than me. I cant deal with people who would just slow me and my awesome sex skills down.

to the author: Do you REALLY hate Cross and Gabriel that mucH?

Author: Oh, I'm in this one? Ok. No…their just really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really 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Also, they always seem to together, so I suspect that they have some sort of love relationship or something going on.

-Zen to-Jinx: Have you ever really had bi thoughts about Raven?

Jinx: Ew, no.

-Inferno to-Raven: I am Soul Edge, the living demon sword. I can give you the  
power to destroy your father once and for all. The question is... would you  
want to weild me?

(Raven was about to answer until Beast Boy burst through and grabs Soul Edge)

BB: SWEET! A FREAKING TALKING SWORD! I'm gonna sell you on Ebay so I can finally get a moped!

Soul Edge: No! I don't want to be sold for a fraction of my original value! A fraction!!!!

(Beast Boy leaves Raven)

Raven: So…is it too late to say yes?

-Witch-king to-Red-X: Interested in becoming a Nazgul, and increasing your  
power ten-fold?

Red X: If I have to be called that Nazgaygul name, then no.

-Super-mario to-Starfire: WHY WON'T YOU-A LOVE-A ME?!?!

Starfire: I am terribly frightened by your amplified question. Is increasing volume in a question suppose to desire a fast response?

-Alex to-Argent: I LOVE YOU!

Auhtor: I'm sorry, but Argent has gotten a restraining order on Alex who is not permitted to ask anymore questions.

Zen-taro to Red-x: Here's something you should to ** off Robin... go Super-fly! start  
humping the air and say "Who's yo daddy, who's yo daddy. It's me, because I  
did this to momma yea, did this to yo momma. You suck but yo momma sweet."

Red X: That's not question….but it is slightly gross man…I'll do it!

Zen-Taro to Everyone: If you could be any mythalogical creature/person, what/who would you be?

Raven: The Spinx

Beast Boy: Aw, man, that was my one!

Cyborg: Eh…that little bull head, human body guy.

Robin: Thor.

Starfire: I want to be there Jesus I keep hearing about. He seems to be very popular, and I like the way he has super human powers like Spider man.

Robin:…What?

Starfire: He can climb walls like Spiderman. I always see him using his spider powers to hold onto the side of a cross.

Author: …I'm not even gonna touch that one…

(Zen again)

To Robin: If you had no choice but to kill a villian, would you do it?

Robin: No choice? None what so ever? Don't believe it, there's always a choice.

To Starfire: What dish made the Titans the most sick?

Starfire: Dishes can do that? (Runs over to the dish cubboard) Ok, dishes of death, taste my fury for one of you have illed my friends (Starbolt into the cubboard; shards of plates everywhere).

To Beast Boy: What do you think of the Angry Video Game Nerd?

BB: Really; problems in EVERY matter of his life if he freaks out like that.

To Raven: What's your most powerful spell?

Raven: I can spell powerful, if that's a powerful spell enough for you?

To Cyborg: What's the craiest thing you've ever done?

Cyborg: (Thinks, smiles) Good times, good times.


End file.
